I have been living in the adult world for a good four months now, so I consider myself pretty much an expert. As I prepare to go back to school to walk at my college graduation in May, I’ve been thinking a lot about how different my life is from four months ago. Spoiler alert for all of you still in college or below, it’s definitely rough waters. The transition into adulthood is not one that anyone at all really prepared me for. Especially as someone who went straight from high school to college and has been in school literally their whole life, the thought of being done with that was both terrifying and thrilling (yay, no more homework EVER!). There are definitely exciting perks of being a real grown up, I can give you a whole separate post about it, but for now I want to educate my little children who have college graduation just around the corner to look forward to, because no one did that for me. No one can say I’m never generous
1. No more spring break or summer vacation (unless you’re a teacher):
I mean, you realize that when you’re finishing up school. I remember last year saying “Awwww. This is my last spring break!” as I sat on my couch watching more Netflix with a glass of wine. Then you live it. I am very fortunate to currently be working where I have a beach view and due to this, I’ve been watching all of the youths of today scamper around in their bikinis as I work a 40 plus hour work week for the past few weeks. Plus, it has made the restaurants totally packed during my lunch and I suddenly find myself cursing teenagers and their instagramming tendencies getting in my way of a peaceful lunch hour. Ahhh, how the tables have turned!
Too turnt. That’s what the kids say, right?
2. Playing hooky is like… a major no-no:
If you are still in college, do me a favor and sleep through your 8 am class for me. Don’t feel guilty. Just make sure you still turn in your homework and email your teacher some feigned, bull-shitty illness and go back to sleep. Because as soon as you get a real grown-up job, especially if it’s in an office where you work the nine to five type lifestyle, you can just kiss sleeping through your responsibilities goodbye. See also:
3. Wave Weeknight drinking goodbye:
I don’t mean that you’ll never drink on a weeknight, nor that you probably won’t occasionally splurge and come into work a little hungover the next day. There is definitely still time to rage. However, the frequency at which one rages tends to decrease dramatically depending on ones work schedule. I can tell you, being at work at 7:30 am everyday (and some days earlier if we have special caterers come in) has definitely taken a lot of the fun in getting snockered on a Tuesday night. Unless it’s a weekend and I’ve had ample time to nap, I’m suddenly much more likely to pour myself a glass of wine and don my slippers and catch up on my DVR list with my trusty pup. I am my mother.
4. Being a “starving student” isn’t really cute anymore:
I mooched my way through college a lot, I can fully admit it. I made what I make in half a week at my current job in one month while I was in school. So pretty much, gas money. Thank god my aunt let me live with her free of rent. Thank god my parents would help with groceries. Thank god I knew so many people who just had alcohol lying around. Thank god I became a social butterfly who people just wanted to party with. Thank god I wasn’t picky about what alcohol was being served at parties. Another Coors light? Sure. Thank god my campus gym was included in the student fees. Seriously. I could keep going. Take advantage of being in college now because people want to help you when you’re there, as they should. I already hardly slept, I don’t know how I could have worked more (see number three, I suppose). It made fundraising for my most recent movie a breeze because like, I’m a cute little starving student who wants to be an artist! Let’s help her. As soon as you have that bachelors, it’s get a job you dirty, lazy, hippie. Anyway, being a filmmaker is kind of an expensive hobby, especially once all that equipment you can rent from campus is taken away. So maybe my parents have a point.
5. Sweats aren’t okay:
I mean this in more of a generalized sense because I basically never wore sweats to school, mostly because if I did I would be guaranteed to fall asleep in class, and also sweatpants are still okay, you know, on weekends and non-professional times, obviously. However, waking up, rolling out of bed and heading to work in your jammies is definitely frowned upon. Also, you should probably shower more than you did when you were in college. In college, everyone is kind of a collective stink bomb of stress and binge drinking. At most jobs, unless they are dependent on heavy manual labor and/or take place on a fishing boat, you’ll pretty much stand out if you don’t shower regularly. And probably be asked to get out.
6. “Adults” are actually just a mythological creature and everything you know is a lie:
All of this being said, even though your life changes, one thing really doesn’t; no one really knows what they’re doing all of the time. You have moments of “fuck yeah, I got this,” but they are too often fleeting. The good news is, you’re not alone in that and with the help of your friends, family, and loved ones, you’ll learn not to take things too seriously and that adulthood ain’t so bad after all.