Different Kinds of Crushes


When I was younger, I had what a crush meant explained to me by, big surprise, television. The show Hey Arnold explained it in the best way for my young, innocent heart to understand. You either liked someone, like you might like your best friend or maybe the way you liked your favorite candy bar, or you like-liked someone, and when you like-liked someone that was a big deal. Like, you probably wanted to hold hands with them, or maybe even kiss them.

Ah, childhood, if only it was still that simple. The older you get, the more kinds of crushes you develop and the less you probably know what to do about some of them. Crushes can be any level from harmless to scary obsession, and all made easier with the involvement of the internet in our love life giving us the ability to know, like, fucking everything about someone without actually having to talk to them. Wonder where you fall on this scale? Let me explain.

Harmless Little Crush

Maybe it’s the super cute barista on your way to work, this crush is just fun and little expectations. Some mild flirting happens, and who knows you may get a discount on drinks and you definitely will get a boost of confidence. Who doesn’t like that?

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Physical Crush

Have you ever met someone so beautiful but as soon as they open their mouths the annoying mess of words that come out almost ruin it for you? But then you look again and just…. ahhh <3_<3 It’s okay to just look sometimes, we’re all human.

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Celebrity Crush

This is only such a low level crush because as long as you don’t let it run your life, it’s also pretty harmless, because as much as we may daydream, the likelihood of us actually meeting and subsequently falling in love with our celebrity crush, it’s probably not going to happen. So daydream away!

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Celebrity Obsession

Okay, so maybe you daydreamed a little too much… and maybe you now follow them on instagram, twitter, and Facebook… and maybe their picture is your computer desktop right now… and maybe you make any excuse to watch one of the movies they are in even if it TOTALLY sucks. Careful there turbo, if you mention him one more time in public your friends will definitely roll their eyes and begin to worry for your soul.

(See also: Chris Pratt)

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WOAH, I might actually like you

Or at least that’s what I say when I actually like someone. I tend to stay within the first few stages so often, that when I realize I have actual human feelings for someone I tend to momentarily panic. This stage is when you actually want to date someone and potentially even start a relationship. So of course that makes me panic, there are so many opportunities for me to be crazy awkward.

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Infatuation

You’ve passed the normal level of just liking someone, now you are obsessed. You track their every living move on social media, know every girl he’s talking to that isn’t you, and make excuses to show up to places that they will be at and happen to casually run into him looking hot. Except nothing about it is casual and you probably are freaking them out. No one likes to feel smothered, so let’s reel it in there, turbo. If he ever found out about your bubblegum shrine of him in your room there is NO way you are going to fall in love and have his children. More than likely, you will be forced to seek out medical attention, both for the fact that you have touched so much used gum and you’re clearly insane.

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Best Friend Crush

Have you ever met someone so amazing that you are in love with everything they do but you don’t feel any romantic connection to them? They are the Turk to your JD, the Ilana to your Abbi, the Anne Perkins to your Leslie Knope. These people are the most important people. Hold onto them at all costs.

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And if your asking how many times I can use that last gif, the limit does not exist. So what kind of crushes do you have? Any fun stories? Comment below or tweet us @awklifeblog! 😀

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